Are you hiding away from your life?
As a coach, the majority of people who come to work with me are tired of feeling like they are hiding away, hoping a challenge will fix itself or a challenging person will just go away. They come to me because they realise "just happen" is not a good strategy. Often, hiding away too long has taken a toll on their physical and mental health.
There is a time and place for hiding. It is retreating to your comfort zone, where you go to rest and recharge. The risk is that hiding away for too long, your brain kicks into overdrive. The gremlins start to grow, comparison, assumptions, shame, fear all get louder and LOUDER. These voices are not rational (or accurate) but when you have no community to challenge your gremlins, you are giving them space to thrive.
If you can relate to this feeling of hiding, trust me, you are not the only one.
I have seen this trend growing and the (unrealistic) comparison that social media creates has only amplified these feelings.
This is the exact reason that I have built my services around community. I have intentionally created workshops and a group coaching program, to bring like-minded people together, to work through their challenges, side by side. The impact of community learning is one of the best parts of my job. It is a privilege to create these spaces for people.
The power of a community is undeniable.
In my workshops and groups, people arrive feeling a little hesitant and nervous. Often, they don't know what to expect but they have already made the most important step by joining the call.
Literally, after a quick round of introductions, I can see people's shoulders drop and some light return to their eyes. Why? Because, this is the moment that people realise that they are not alone, they are not the only one. Over and over, by the end of a one hour people share a feeling of renewed energy and a lightness of "not being the only one".
Remember - We have a tendency to offer solutions to feel like you are being valuable to someone in need. Usually, what people crave is to feel seen and validated.
There is ALWAYS someone in the same position as you.
The most intriguing part of the communities I have created is that they are global and I have seen first hand through my career and these groups, that no matter your challenge or location, we are more similar than we are different.
We all feel different, like "I'm the only one" and yet, everyone can relate to each other's stories. Whether there is one person in Ireland who is working through redundancy, another in Canada ready for a career change and another in Spain who is struggling to get promoted in work, they all see something in each other and realise that they have more in common then they ever would have dreamed.
Over to you - You have to take the first step to come out of hiding.
In todays post, my hope is that I can inspire you to reflect on two things:
Are you hiding away in any area of your life? Do you feel yourself retreating and making yourself smaller?
Are you ready to take control and step into your power?
I hope that my lessons have helped you to see the value of finding a community and getting reconnected with other people. It can be scary because you have to take the first step but it is better to live and learn than waste your brilliance hiding away.
Now onto practicalities, where can you find like minded people?
Go to the office (if you have one) - Nothing beats real talk over a coffee
Join online workshops or classes - You would be amazed what new skills and connections you can gain in one hour
Find a local activity group - Walking, crafting, sports it doesn't matter. These groups create a great opportunity to meet people from all walks of life, with fascinating stories that give you a new perspective on yours.
Ask your network for recommendations - If you don't tell people how they can help you, they can't help you! A simple "I am looking to work on X, does anyone have recommendations" can lead to all sorts of fun discoveries and connections.
Here are some tips from what I have seen work well for others in your situation.
Don't overthink it - Your brain will only give you 100 reasons why it is a terrible idea to do anything. Set a goal of taking 1 action this week and celebrate that first.
Don't shoot for perfection - Try 3 different approaches and see how they go. You can refine your strategy as you learn what works for you.
Start online if in person feels too far - This can be a great way to connect from the safety of your own home and it lowers the barrier of entry.
Join my proven communities, if you want a safe place to start to explore how you can stop hiding and live a bigger, more fulfilled life.
Coming up in the next few weeks, I have two different options for you:
Job Seekers - Join a one-hour workshop to work through a step by step process to identify your unique experiences and thread it together into a story that will make your Stand Out in this very crowded job market. Monday Jan 26th, 7-8pm.
Ready for embrace a change? My much loved Shape your Future group coaching program is now open to bookings for February. This is a unique opportunity to work alongside 5 other people who are ready to embrace a change in their lives, to learn the tools to take control with a strong community vibe.
Starting February, only 6 spaces are available. You can learn more about the power of group coaching here.
I leave you with this quote, that stopped me in my tracks because it resonated so deeply. Drop me a message if you are ready to come out of hiding and I will be here to listen.
